Heart Wounds
At some time, almost every one will experience a heart wound.
A heart wound is a loss or assault so brutal that it damages the fabric of your soul and the essence of who you are.
A heart wound usually happens suddenly, unexpectedly and shockingly.
There is always a ‘before’ and ‘after’ in a heart wound.
A heart wound is something you are not sure you can survive. If you do survive you are acutely aware that you and nothing in your life will ever be the same.
Heart wounds come in many different forms: death, betrayal, loss and harm among others. However, in every form, the damage is inescapable. You will never be the same.
Recovery from a heart wound is difficult and may, at times, seem impossible.
The repair of a heart wound is not about reclaiming, because what was lost can never be reclaimed.
The healing of a heart wound involves not recovering who you were, which is impossible, but establishing who you are now, what you want and what your life will be about going forward.
All the things we normally rely upon to assist us will abandon us: reason does not touch the heart; false hope can manipulate; pain has impaired intellectual and executive function; personal agency has vanished. Our mind can torment us with obsessive thoughts of our loss.
How we heal will depend a great deal on how we handle the abyss. It will depend upon the work we do to manage our minds, our bodies, and our spirits as we allow our hearts to heal.
The story we tell ourselves about our wound and our future is an important tool that will help or hinder recovery.
If we haven’t learned already, now is the time to learn to be our own best friend. Now is the time to cherish our self.
As much as you’d like to, now is not the time to hide. It is normal to want to hide and retreat when we are hurt, but at some point, after the initial shock, it is important to attempt to focus externally as well as internally.
Listen to your internal messages about what you need, what you value, how you want to connect and how you want to find meaning today and in the future.
Above all be kind to yourself and allow yourself to move forward, even if it is only an inch….